Post: #1

so in school today we had a discussion(im going for teacher so we have debate lessons.) is it ok to spank your kid. ie. can a parent use physiclal punishment to raise there kid.
i would like your oppinions on this. i have no children at the moment and dont plan to for the next couple of years but i was never spanked as a kid and always corrected without pain as a punishment. and i think i turned out ok. so i am opposed to it. and think if you cannot reach a kid without pain you shoudnt raise one. what do you think??
also if you think its right were do you draw the line between correction and child abuse?

Post: #2

Absolutely, a few Spanks is a great way to punish your kids and help them flying straight. If you disipline your kids with Groundings and Spankings when they backtalk or break something is a great way to realign the path there taking. If you want to be a good parent its important to raise your kids with Morales and Respect. Im only 25 but I love the way my parents raised me, because ive turned out to be a pretty solid individual that knows whats Right and whats Wrong and I feel like ive picked up there parenting style for in the future. We are born not to be great, but to replace our parents. You will never rise to your true potential until you have outlived and become those who raised you.

Post: #3

It's a tricky question, but my gut tells me that there is such a thing as justified spanking when it comes to raising children. I think the big importance though is to make them understand why they're being spanked, lest the child becomes fearful of you.

Post: #4

Why stop at spanking? Just beat your children. They just need to fear you!

Joking aside, I think spanking is, by far, a last resort. Children should know why things are unacceptable. If my kid hit another kid, I would not spank them. I would tell them they can't do that, and ask them why they can't. If they don't understand, I'd tell that other kid to hit my kid back. And when my kid was done crying, I would say "See? That's why you don't do it." Kid's aren't terribly bright, so I think you just need to teach them right. Easier said than done but... they should not be doing things because they KNOW why it's wrong, not because they fear a spanking.

That being said, if nothing else is working, and they can't/refuse to understand why they shouldn't do something, then sure, punish them. By grounding, spanking, or some other form they would not enjoy. They may not understand why they shouldn't do something, but they know they'll be punished if they do.

Post: #5

(10-20-2010 05:22 PM)Grish Wrote:  Why stop at spanking? Just beat your children. They just need to fear you!

Joking aside, I think spanking is, by far, a last resort. Children should know why things are unacceptable. If my kid hit another kid, I would not spank them. I would tell them they can't do that, and ask them why they can't. If they don't understand, I'd tell that other kid to hit my kid back. And when my kid was done crying, I would say "See? That's why you don't do it." Kid's aren't terribly bright, so I think you just need to teach them right. Easier said than done but... they should not be doing things because they KNOW why it's wrong, not because they fear a spanking.

That being said, if nothing else is working, and they can't/refuse to understand why they shouldn't do something, then sure, punish them. By grounding, spanking, or some other form they would not enjoy. They may not understand why they shouldn't do something, but they know they'll be punished if they do.

your right for the most part but there is a real difference between grounding(ie a mental so to speak punishment) and spanking/hitting your kid, i am for grounding etc. prohobiding things to teach your kids whats wrong. but spanking/hitting doesnt solve the problem as good because there is a good chance(again not always) that the kid fears the pain instead of knowing that it did wrong and why.
but thank everyone for the quick reply's wasnt thinking its so active on here

Post: #6

Firstly I think I should clear up what I mean by Spanking / Smacking. To be (on a child), that is a sharp smack, enough to shock but not cause bodily harm or bruise. It is not repeatedly hitting, beating black and blue etc.

Do I think it is acceptable. Yes, within reason and limits. My children have (rarely) had a smack (normally on the top of the hand) when necessary. However I normally try and use other non-contact methods first which 95% of the time are viable and work.

Post: #7

I've never been spanked and I turned out better than I had foreseen. For reference, I'm studying on a university and will probably belong to the 10-15% wealthiest people later in my country. Not to say that's any measure.

Next to that, I don't smoke, use drugs or drink too much alcohol. I actually had to vomit after taking up a small amount of beer that I normally could take, but it probably didn't land well. Since then I haven't touched a drop of alcohol (and I like so I might continue doing so).

I've also never fought or looked for any sort of trouble.

Hence, I'm also against slapping kids. Not even as a last resort because it wouldn't help in my view. Then again, some good parenting study does. I guess it depends on genes too.

I think that if I'd be a parent and the point comes that I want to slap the kid to reason with him/her, I think I'm doing something wrong.

Post: #8

It's tricky. Over here, it is illegal to hit a child (even you're own). Punishable by imprisonment, and/or children being taken off you.
However, as DoN said, I think a small smack on the hand is perfectly fine, so long as you have exhausted other avenues. A child shouldn't fear you, just needs to learn that when you say "Don't do that", you mean it and if they continue to do it, they will get punished.
That being said, I don't have children and I don't want any.

Post: #9

I maybe was spanked once? and i can't even remember why. I was punished with stuff taken away or left in my room and couldn't come out for 2 hours and couldn't touch my TV or something. i turned out to be an amazing guy. the hard part about all our stories is the fact every person reacts to punishment differently.

I believe you start with small punishments such as time outs grounding and the such... if they continue to do what is "wrong" then more sever punishment like a spanking or what i had to do was sit in a corner on my knees... that sucked lol, but i guess it worked.

If a kid keeps being bad well then he or she is a problem child and sadly wont grow up to be such a great person unless they themselves have some sort of life changing experience.

Post: #10

YES it's wrong,All people should be spanked sexually.

Post: #11

I don't see how physical violence is ever neccesary. Someone who has the respect of their charges, children or otherwise, should be able to get what they want without resorting to such base methods.

Post: #12

(10-21-2010 12:44 PM)Sanai Wrote:  I don't see how physical violence is ever neccesary. Someone who has the respect of their charges, children or otherwise, should be able to get what they want without resorting to such base methods.

Unfortunately respect is in short supply,and is usually snuggled up closely with fear.The threat of violence is what holds society together.If you don't beleive me,go break some laws.I'm not talking about children in particular but without violence there is no authority.

Post: #13

(10-21-2010 02:00 PM)Count Lasombra Wrote:  

(10-21-2010 12:44 PM)Sanai Wrote:  I don't see how physical violence is ever neccesary. Someone who has the respect of their charges, children or otherwise, should be able to get what they want without resorting to such base methods.

Unfortunately respect is in short supply,and is usually snuggled up closely with fear.The threat of violence is what holds society together.If you don't beleive me,go break some laws.I'm not talking about children in particular but without violence there is no authority.

this is the reason why violence is authority.
if all the people say this then yes violence is the acepted method of punishment,however there are other ways to get people to cooperate see also jailtime and community service. also punishments like the death penalty(arguably the most voilent punishment) is not more effective country's with the death penalty dont have lower crimerates and i the case of america have high crime rates when compared to most country's without the death penalty.

now to get back on topic studies have even shown that hitting/spanking your kid can even have bad results on there psyche and furder life. therefore i am happy its even a crime in some countrys

Post: #14

I know that societies fabric is weaved from the threat of repercussions, but I lose all respect for a person as soon as they even threaten violence on someone. If my parents hit me, I would hit back, not cower away and obey them.
They used to use such methods on me when I was younger, and they eventually learnt that it just made me more defiant.

There are ways to raise a person where they will understand that all their actions have consequences without having to resort to violence. My parents just ask me if they want something, and they tell me if I am doing something they dont like.

Post: #15

I agree with you Sanai. I too have been hit, beaten and generally gotten abuse as a child and though it did make me obey it turned to aggression and hatred later on in my life. My parents, who raised me without any physical punishment wondered what the hell was wrong with me and when they found out they immediately took me of that school.

I'm still messed up because of it and whenever I see something to do with Christianity I get really pissed and suffer from clear PTSD (good thing I'm Jewish LOL).

Now some slight spanking might seem a complete opposite of what I've been through but where do you draw the line? Fear is NOT respect; it will turn to resentment and rebellion. It might take time but it will even with just a few "minor" slaps.

Post: #16

(Might as well remove it since it does not add anything, non?)

Post: #17

2 year Threadomancy :p I think its a new record.

Post: #18

(01-25-2012 10:30 AM)Sanai Wrote:  2 year Threadomancy :p I think its a new record.

Oops, somehow my brains registered this as an active topic.

l'excuses moi.