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Noobafrass's "Cannot Possibly Fail" Skaven Army Kills Itself While Ogres Watch

Noobafrass

Grave Guard
Joined
Jan 1, 2012
Messages
276
#1
Had a 2250pt game with a local friend last night. My skaven vs his ogres. It was tons of fun, even if it was (by pure-gaming standards) a terrible game. I definitely set myself up for failure by announcing before the game that I was bringing my "Cannot Possibly Fail" skaven army to this bout.

We both are relatively new to these armies, so we're doing a lot of trying things at this point to get a feel for the various uses of each unit. Plus they are friendly games, so neither list is optimized (I don't think, anyway). I present to you, the army lists!!

My "Cannot Possibly Fail" Skaven Army

Grey Seer General w/ D-Scroll
Warlord on war litter with 2+/5++, +1Str, +1Atk
Chieftan BSB with shield (the "shield" build)
Plague Priest, lvl 2 w/ flail and 4++

Core:
20x Clanrats w/ shields, muso, std, and ratling gun
40x Clanrats w/ shields, muso, std, and warpfire thrower
40x Clanrats w/ shields, muso, std
50x Slaves w/muso
49x Slaves w/muso
2 "rat darts"

Special:
5x Gutter Runners w/ poison, slings
5x Warplock Jezzails

Rare:
1x Hellpit
1x Doomwheel
1x Warplightning Canon

His "Wanderfeast Tribe" of Ogres

Tyrant w/ 3+/4++, hitting on 2s and OTS
Bruiser BSB
2 Firebellies, each lvl 2. 1 D-scroll, 1 hellheart

Core:
9 Bulls w/ ironfists and command
6 Ironguts w/command

Special:
2 Sabretusks (2 units of 1)
2 units of 2 mournfang cavalry, each with a musician
3x Maneaters with pistols, scouting, stubborn, and Flame Banner

Rare:
1x Ironblaster
1x Gorger
---------------------------------------------------

He deployed across the board like so:

Sabretusk -- Mournfang -- Bulls w/Firebelly + Tyrant --Ironguts w/Firebelly + BSB -- Ironblaster -- Mournfang -- Sabretusk


I had:

HPA - Jezzails - Slaves - Clanrats - Slaves - Clanrats w/warlord - WLC - Doomwheel

I threw the bunker clanrats behind the unit of clanrats between the slaves. The weapons teams were lined up to get good shots at the slave combats. The clanrats with warlord were outside the LD bubble but with the warlord that didn't matter. I was hoping to use them as a big ol' flanking unit.

At this point, I was content with how things had been done, but then he launched out with his scouting maneaters and that flame banner and tossed them at my HPA. My gutter runners took the exact opposite side of the board.

I was also pretty happy with spells. He got some bad rolls on his Lore of Fire and got some pretty useless spells (the +1 to wound, for example, when his army was already wounding on 2s across the board). I on the other hand, snagged wither, cracks call, and bless with filth (poisoned attacks) - probably the 3 best spells for skaven vs ogres.

But then things went bad.

He won first turn (naturally, i had like 15 drops) and while his movement and magic didn't do anything, his maneaters managed to drop 3 wounds off my HPA in 6 shots needing 5s to hit and wound. Gross.

Then on my first turn, I set things up pretty well (or so I thought) and the HPA, having nothing else to do, charged the maneaters. They took off 2 more wounds on the stand-and-shoot (again, with some gross rolling). Then...magic. I had a great roll (10-5 dice) and great spells to cast. I was within range of everything with most of my spells (even 12" wither), and decided to 3-dice cracks call.

Irresistible force. Took out 3 bulls (not bad). But then the miscast roll - dimensional cascade. Goodbye 13 clanrats (my weapons teams managed to avoid the blast though). More troubling, good by grey seer as he failed his sucked into the warp roll. Duh duh duh. Now I'm sporting an army of LD 5-6 - huzzah!! What could possible go wrong from here on out?

Well for starters my shooting all flubbed (rolled 2 on everything), and my doomwheel managed to kill 3 of my giant rats and send them running off the board. The HPA rolled the 3d6 hits attack and managed to wound the maneaters 3 times on 15 attacks (wounding on 2s with no saves, mind you) and get finished in combat.

And now the hilarity.

His ogres charged a unit of giant rats, and I had them flee. I hoped that they would not roll well and run through some stuff. Naturally, this worked exactly as intended and failed. This was the point where my buddy sat back and we both laughed as I rolled against myself for 5-10 minutes.

They ran through lines, causing my plague priest (who was by himself) to flee too. My plague priest then fled into a unit of slaves (49 strong!) who fled as well...except they don't flee, they explode, and I did like 11 hits on all my units. This finished off my rats, and did enough wounds on my Jezzails to cause them to panic and start fleeing too. And not just fleeing...oh no! They fled directly TOWARDS those scouting maneaters that had just finished off my HPA. Winning!

All this fleeing meant the Wanderfeast tribe only got 1 charge off - the 2 mournfangs into my Warlord/Clanrat unit. The warlord actually won this combat, but did not pursue the fleeing mournfangs (who, by the way, fled into his ironblaster, but it held)

Now my turn again! Nothing rallied - so my jezzails were gone now too - and my plague priest ended up about 1" from board edge. Perfect! "But hey!" i thought, "My weapons teams and such are in range now. They can't miss!" I was partially right. The Warplightning canon managed to hit the ironblaster with a mighty strength 2 shot, and the doomwheel managed to hit his remaining mournfang with 3 mighty, strength 2 shots. None of which did anything of course. My warpfire thrower actually did hit 4 ogres, and rolled 3 1s to wound (but I killed the 4th!!!) and then...the ratling gun

Oh the ratling gun. I got a little over-zealous and rolled 4 times to see how many bullets it fired and failed the 50/50 shot at getting it to work. Now you probably already know what's about to happen, but it spun wildly and, after careful deliberation, achieved the impossible. It shot all 18 shots directly at my lone, fleeing plague priest. Brilliant Assassination! Everybody knows Clan Skyre has it out for Clan Pestilens, and now the proof. That poor plague priest got mowed down in a hail of bullets the likes of which are rarely seen on the battlefield. 1" from escape, and the priest goes down like swiss cheese.

At this point, the ogres decided that if they didn't get in to the action soon, there would be nothing left to kill. I played it out so my buddy could have some time winning (everybody likes winning) and by the start of turn 4, I had no points left on the table.

The final kill tally:

Him: Everything
Me: 1 sabretusk, 2 mournfang cavalry, 1 maneater, 3 bulls, and a gorger that never showed up

Exactly as intended! The "Cannot Possibly Fail" army performed admirably!
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2012
Messages
115
#2
Noobafrass said:
They ran through lines, causing my plague priest (who was by himself) to flee too. My plague priest then fled into a unit of slaves (49 strong!) who fled as well...except they don't flee, they explode, and I did like 11 hits on all my units. This finished off my rats, and did enough wounds on my Jezzails to cause them to panic and start fleeing too. And not just fleeing...oh no! They fled directly TOWARDS those scouting maneaters that had just finished off my HPA. Winning!
Love the report, glad you had a fun game. My primary army is Rats and no one seems to remember these fiascoes when they quote how over powered Skaven are.

Two corrections that make a big difference though.
1. Your Plague Priest is Frenzied. Therefore he is Immune to panic. That would have kept this cascade from continuing.

2. Slaves do run, they just don't break from Close Combat. If they flee from other results, the flee.

Keep hording up those bodies and you will do fine. On your game when the cannon shot lands with the template in the middle of his knights for Str 8 hits allowing no armor saves and the HPA turns a Terrorgeist into toothpicks you can enjoy the HIT side of the hit and miss nature of Skaven.
 

Noobafrass

Grave Guard
Joined
Jan 1, 2012
Messages
276
#3
THanks for the tips - I'd figured those out elsewhere.

Never-the-less, the comic value of the event makes me not care. With my general blowing up in the first 3 seconds of the game, it was probably over anyway so I'm glad it ended comically.
 
Joined
Feb 7, 2013
Messages
20
#4
Haha sounds like a fun (and funny) game! Reading this makes me miss playing my old rival's Skaven army (he's taken a job about 200 miles away, so we haven't had a game in over a year).
 
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