Hey,
Wanted to put this out there, see how other people in the world felt.
I just had lunch with the missus. She's been unhappy in her job, and I've been trying to push her towards obtaining her professional designation. It's a 3year+ process, and she'd have to have a job as well (at least partially) as a requirement to get her designation. Now, currently, she's being paid rather poorly in my estimation. She's capable of so much more but she's choosing a menial, boring job with no stress. She doesn't want to get her designation as she feels its too much stress.
This is what's getting under my skin. As part of the discussion, she brought up that an ex co-worker, got her designation when she was over 40, thus saying she's never too old. But the only reason her co-worker obtained it, was that she went through a divorce and was no longer making enough money to obtain her goals.
If she gets her designation, her salary will go up 225% for a starting wage, and will likely triple within a couple of years; guaranteed. She'll have her pick of the jobs, and could even start a business if she felt inclined. I won't say what field she's in, but it's a professional designation, so it's a guaranteed thing.
The crux of what upsets me is this: it seems a lot of women here purposely do not feel they have to work hard because their significant other is. It's putting the onus and responsibility on their other to fulfil their life dreams. The missus wants a beautiful house, with a dream kitchen. But it doesn't seem she wants to work for it. I'll be making the money, ensuring our future, and getting the things she wants. She wants to have kids and stay at home. Sigh. It's a lot of stress I feel to put our future on my shoulders. I don't feel its fair at all to have me working overtime, bearing the stress of failure in my profession when it's unstable, and she can get a completely stable, professional job in a couple years of work. If I was an Engineer or a Doctor, I think I'd be fine with this, because at that wage it really doesn't matter if she works or not. But I'm inbetween; not making a ton of cash, but certainly not poor.
So how do things work in other parts of the world? Is one person expected to do the heavy lifting? Is it usually the man? Do you both need to work a job to make ends meet or feel like you'll be in a comfortable place for retirement?
Wanted to put this out there, see how other people in the world felt.
I just had lunch with the missus. She's been unhappy in her job, and I've been trying to push her towards obtaining her professional designation. It's a 3year+ process, and she'd have to have a job as well (at least partially) as a requirement to get her designation. Now, currently, she's being paid rather poorly in my estimation. She's capable of so much more but she's choosing a menial, boring job with no stress. She doesn't want to get her designation as she feels its too much stress.
This is what's getting under my skin. As part of the discussion, she brought up that an ex co-worker, got her designation when she was over 40, thus saying she's never too old. But the only reason her co-worker obtained it, was that she went through a divorce and was no longer making enough money to obtain her goals.
If she gets her designation, her salary will go up 225% for a starting wage, and will likely triple within a couple of years; guaranteed. She'll have her pick of the jobs, and could even start a business if she felt inclined. I won't say what field she's in, but it's a professional designation, so it's a guaranteed thing.
The crux of what upsets me is this: it seems a lot of women here purposely do not feel they have to work hard because their significant other is. It's putting the onus and responsibility on their other to fulfil their life dreams. The missus wants a beautiful house, with a dream kitchen. But it doesn't seem she wants to work for it. I'll be making the money, ensuring our future, and getting the things she wants. She wants to have kids and stay at home. Sigh. It's a lot of stress I feel to put our future on my shoulders. I don't feel its fair at all to have me working overtime, bearing the stress of failure in my profession when it's unstable, and she can get a completely stable, professional job in a couple years of work. If I was an Engineer or a Doctor, I think I'd be fine with this, because at that wage it really doesn't matter if she works or not. But I'm inbetween; not making a ton of cash, but certainly not poor.
So how do things work in other parts of the world? Is one person expected to do the heavy lifting? Is it usually the man? Do you both need to work a job to make ends meet or feel like you'll be in a comfortable place for retirement?
On my phone I use the classic CN theme, it's much easier to read.