Hello everyone!
This is your friendly neighborhood Narenzade with his February tournament battle report. This tournament was ran decently. There were some speed bumps along the way because of new organizers, but over all it was still a good time.
Also, my two friends that I usually roll out with were unable to come. They had to 'spend time with their families' and 'work'. I was like, pfft, tools. So, my other buddy who doesn't even play Warhammer anymore decided that he'd come along just to watch. So, I bought him lunch. Because I'm a good man.
Here's my list -
VL (Vampire)
Ogreblade, ToP, OTS
RF, QB, Beguile
HA, Shield, Barded Nightmare
Upgraded to LvL4 caster
Vampire (Death Lore)
Dispel Scroll 25, Luckstone 5, Charmed Shield 5
HA, Lance, Barded Nightmare
Upgraded to LvL 2 caster
40 Ghouls w/ Ghast
20 Zombies w/ Muso
20 Zombies w/ Standard
20 Zombies
8 Crypt Horrors
10 Black Knights w/ FC w/ Lances & Barding
Terrorgheist
Terrorgheist
Round One, I play WARRIORS OF CHAOS.
I was pretty excited about this match because I had a) never played against Warriors of Chaos and b) never played against the new Warriors of Chaos. So, we are playing Dawn Attack. I get sad because I know that means that some shit I want is going to end up in the completely wrong places.
SURE AS SHIT. CRYPT HORRORS WAYYY OFF TO THE RIGHT! TERRORGHEIST TWO WAYYYY OFF TO THE LEFT! SUPER - FUCKING- DUPER!
So, he's playing Lore of Tzneetch and has the floating guy on a disc. I'm aware of his gypsy-tricks and decide that I'm not going to fight that guy.
He plays some Chaos Warriors with a BSB Exalted Hero guy. Two Chims and two units of three and four Skullcrushers.
He takes turn one and prances his guys around a little bit. He's fairly intimidated by my double dragons and my palpable aura of manliness. He barely moves his things around and goes to magic. He tries to take my Death casters levels away or some shit, so I dispel that. Then he goes for the gamble and Gateways my Terrorgheist. He gets like 3 Str 4 hits. He doesn't do any wounds and my Gheist gets like 5+ regen. I hi five him and say, "THANKS BRO".
So, I fly my TG 10 inches towards my BK block in an attempt to get him back in the march bubble. In the mean time, I fly my TG up to be 19 inches away from his Skullcrushers because I'm testing to see if he has Mark of Khorne. He does. He fails his leadership and his charge. March up my CHs and wiggle my BKs around. I wiggle my core in the middle too. They will do nothing this game.
We go to magic and I try to Leech something. He stops it. I Vanhel's and wiggle my TG and my CHs a little.
We go to turn two. He smells my fear and moves both of his Chims around my lone TG. He moves the other unit of Skullcrushers up, and that's about it.
He does some more magic shit and all he casts is that steal a spell move. I Dispel that. Then he rolls like 26 on his Gateway on my BK unit. So I dispel scroll that.
My turn. I look at my TG and the two Chims and I know that I cannot out run him. So I exhale slowly. The room slows to a crawl. THERE GOES MY HERO. WATCH HIM AS HE GOES. *Guitar Riff* I turn my TG around and I can't fly him far enough to avoid the charge next turn... So he sits alone...facing two Chims hoping.... nay, praying to scream one off the board.
I fly my TG to the side of his Skullcrusher unit and measure to see if I'm in the arch. I'm not. I move my CH up and my BKs up as well. My core has a dance party in the center.
I don't do much in magic. In fact, I don't even remember what I did. Probably nothing.
TG screams at a Chimera. TEN WOUNDS. EAT SHIT. He fails like 6 or so Regen saves and goes down. My other TG screams and does markedly shittier, but still kills a Skullcrusher and might even wound another.
His turn. Chimera charges TG. SKULLCRUSHERS CHARGE other TG?! Yeah, I checked for one unit of Skull crushers and not the other. I'm a bad player. He gets in there.
He casts some more stupid crap. He tries to steal a spell. He rolls like forty on three dice. So I let it go off. My death caster loses a level and he takes Spirit Leech instead of Soul Blight. So I'm happy. Then he tries to Gateway Drug my BK unit and I dispel it.
Close combat. Both TGs eat a big shit sandwich. Sleep well, dear Princes. </3
My turn. I demand blood and revenge. I charge his Skullcrushers with my BK block and succeed. CHs continue to try and get into the fight, but Dawn Attack F'd me in the B. I move my Crypt Ghouls into his Chim.
Magic. I think I Vanhels or something. But, the big thing is I get Soulblight on the Skullcrushers behind the ones that I charged. For overrun. GET IT! BECAUSE I'M A GOOD PLAYER! Strategy and shit.
Shooting. NONE BECAUSE ALL MY GHEISTS ARE DEAD.
CC, I do like 2 wounds to the Chim, but he kills like 13+ Ghouls because of breath weapon and junk. Bad times.
Vampire Lord and BKs blend up all the Crushers but one. They flee and I pursue into his other unit of Skullcrushers as planned.
His turn, he moves his disc guy near my BKs and shit. He moves his Chaos Warriors towards my BKs.
He can't cast anything because my units are like all in CC. So he tries to bolt thrower my CHs. I make the first Regen save and that's that.
I Crush the other skull crushers. I wipe them completely and overrun into the lone Skullcrusher.
Chim takes another wound and kills like 8 more guys or something. I have like 5 Ghouls vs the Chim.
My turn, I move the CHs more. ...That's it.
Magic. I don't remember.
Close Wombat(Not a typo). I kill the lone Crusher and reform to face the Warriors block. All ghouls die with no wounds. Chim running around the board with one wound and I have no way to kill it.
He side charges the BKs with his Sorc Lord and front charges his BSB Exalted Hero into my BKs face. I Giggle because I'm going to kill them all.
He can't cast shit again. Oh wait, he debuffs my leadership or some bull.
So, we go to combat. His Sorc Lord challenges and my Champ accepts. He gets pooped on and dies. He gets like +1 Initiative or something for his Eyes of the Gods. My Vampire Lord gets four hits on the Hero. 2,1,1,1. I deal one wound. He fails his armor. 3+ ward he makes and then has to re-roll and fails. I exclaim that this is horse shit.
I lose and crumble a guy.
My turn, I charge into the side of the Exalted Hero with my CHs.
I don't do much else.
Close combat. His Exalted Hero challenges my Vampire Lord. Well, at least I'll get a second chance I think. Four hits again. Roll to wound 4,1,1,1. ....Are you fucking serious?
The Hero gets through a wound my Vampire Lord. 4+ armor fail and 4+ ward fail. Super. It's not like he'll deal me two wounds next round. I'll be fine.
No wounds the rest of the way from anyone, but I got the side charge and a rank, so I win by two. He succeeds on both LD tests and sticks.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXw6znXPfy4[/video]
His turn, he charges the Crypt Horror flank with the warriors. Whatever.
So, challenge time, four hits again. Roll to wound 4,3,1,1.... I fucking hate you.
At least, he should probably fail one of these. NOPE. SUCCEEDS ON BOTH 5+ Armor Saves.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXw6znXPfy4[/video]
Whatever. It's not like my Vampire Lord will die. Two hits on my VL from the Hero. Two Wounds with a 5+.
Roll my two 4+ armor saves. Fail.
Roll my two 4+ ward saves. Fail.
My Vampire Lord dies. OH AND DONT FORGET THAT THIS MOTHER FUCKER WAS BEGUILED THE WHOLE TIME.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVneqqeyO2M[/video]
Needless to say, the game was over there.
MVP: Nothing.
LVP: My rolls.
To say that I couldn't roll my way out of a paper bag would be a vast under statement. I literally couldn't roll if I owned a bakery. My bakery would be out of business because they'd be like... bro, you got some rolls? I'd be like... NOPE!
I lose.
Round Two - The Empire
We set up all Blood and Glory, except Special Rule, you have to start with your General and at least one core unit in play. And then 600 points of Reserves. So, I put my CH and my Ghouls into Reserve.
I deploy a whole bunch of shit in the middle. He places his Helstorm and Morter like as close as he can to his line and right infront of both my TGs. He's got like... other stuff, but... you know, they are just men.
The time comes and we roll to see who goes first and I do. It's going to be amazing. I fly my TGs up and place with both in front of his war machines. I move my other stuff up. Magic, I Vanhels my TGs around a little bit more and move my BKs up further.
I scream down both War Machines like a boss. I'm all FUS RO DAH!
We laugh. He doesn't laugh as hard as I do. I keep laughing and it gets kind of awkward. So, I give him a slice of pizza. By the way, battle report aside. There's a place around here called Original Italian Pizza or OIP if you're in the know. Holy shit, best wing sauce I've ever had in my life. It's like spicy and garlic-y. My God, I have wood just thinking about it. Holy shit. I'd slap a baby, drag my balls one hundred miles of glass and nails and punch my mother in the nose just to smell this sauce.
Anyway, that's it. He charges one of my TGs with some normal dudes. He brings his steam tank and some great swords in front of my TGs.
He tries to cast some shit, but I put an end to that. He's got Miasma and Pendulum.
My TG kills a couple, but because it was a side charge he sticks around with some guys. It was kind of sad.
I move my BKs into position to counter charge after my TG bites the dust. His Steam tank malfunctions and sits there.
So, my other TG screams at his Steamtank and does like 4 wounds. My opponent bows before me for I am truly dragon born.
I kill the rest of the guys with my other TG scream, but like now I'm stuck.
So he charges my TG with some great swords and a priest. He tries to cast other spells but my level 4 superiority says nay.
He shit rolls my TG, but he just crumbles away so no over run. I charge with my BKs into his Greatswords because I am arrogant. He counter charges and then my TG declares a charge on his counter charge. So, it's a big combat gang bang.
I cast some shit that doesn't matter.
I punch like 20 swordsmen to death. But, everyone is stubbon, so they all stick.
His turn. He shoots more zombies and I'm all like... *Jack off motion*.
We close Wombat and I shit roll more Swordsmen and so does my TG. My TG is out of combat now and I think there's like 4 great swords left. I have like 3 or 4 BKs left.
My turn. My TG charges his Steamtank because fuck the police. Mostly because I don't want that thing to touch my BKs.
Magic, I cast an Invocation and get 5 more Bks back. My opponent isn't pleased.
VL wipes out of the rest, except the Priest is still there. He fails LD. He runs off the board and I reform. I face my opponenets Spearmen and General guy. TG / Steam tank stare at eachother.
He prepares his anus for the BK charge.
He tries to cast. Note: tries.
He shoots zombies.
Steam tank / TG stare at eachother.
I charge my BKs and succeed.
I cast some shit. You know, Vanhels, Hellish. Whatevz.
TG screams. 1,1. No wounds. (See Above for Senor Chang.)
Vampire Lord blends 9 guys away. I kill like 20 dudes total. He kills one BK. He's stubborn because he had like holy shit 40 or 50 spearmen. He sticks.
His turn. ...
...
Close combat, I kill like 14ish guys or more. Basically, he's still stubborn. He sticks.
TG / Tank dance.
My turn. I think my Crypt Ghouls charge something... like a detachment of gunners. I shit on them.
I break his big unit of spearmen and pursue. They get the D.
My opponent gives up at this point.
MVP: Vampire Lord.
LVP: ... ...Um... Probably my CH / CGs having to try and march across the board. It was silly.
ROUND THREE: BEASTMEN
I will start out by saying that prior to this game I thought Beastmen were a joke. ...I still do a little bit, but basically, I feel like Beastmen don't play well because they're Beastmen. They play well because they have Heardstone / 3 or 4 casters / Level 4 Death caster. Really, I was just playing against Death.
So, this guy is pretty fucking cool to play with. He's a good guy. We laugh and joke the whole time. I even got his number. No homo. Like just to text good night and shit. Nothing gay. ... I swear.
If I win this game then I come in Second. Should I lose... there will be no placement.
So ,we play Pitched Battle and set up really isn't that important. We all know how I fielded. But, like he fielded a lot of chaff. Like 5 Ungors and shit all over the place. I go first.
I fly both TGs up, march my BKs and march my CHs.
I don't recall what I cast. It didn't matter.
So, I scream at a unit of 5 Ungors with a level 1 Shadow caster in it. I blow it the fuck off the table. Like 4 units of 5 Ungors and 6 Harpies panic all over the place. It's hilarious. My other TG screams a Razorgor to death and then the other one next to him panics off the board. Basically, i made a shit show of his chaff. It was awesome.
So, I'm feeling good.
He declares like 3 charges on my TG and makes them all. It's pretty lame. One of them was like 6+ with 5 Ungors and then another one was 6+ with some Harpies. And I would have been fine with those. But, he needed like 9+ on his Beastigors and he makes it. I'm like...
FUCKKKKKKKK. So, again I lose my TG early because I'm bad. Sad face. Crying face.
Magic. He goes to Spirit Leech my Death caster. I'm like... bro. LD 10 vs LD 9? Yeah, there's no way I could fuck this up... and I have charmed shield on that bitch. SHE GONNA BE LIKE A ROCK. I roll a 1. He rolls a 4. I fucking hate my life. THEN I'M INFORMED THAT I CAN'T USE CHARMED SHIELD BECAUSE IT'S NOT A HIT. I'm like... fuck. I really can't argue because of this wording. So, I lose her and my scroll. I dispel his double Miasma with one die a piece. Yeah, he got like 5 then 6 and I'm like... Fuck it. Roll one die 3, DISPELLED. Roll another single die 4 DISPELLED. GET THAT WEAK SHIT OUT OF HERE. I'M LIKE MOTHER FUCKING MUTUMBO.
I think he Purple Suns some ghouls. I don't remember if that's now or later.
TG melts. Obviously. He overruns his Ungors into my BK flank. Harpies reform and Beastigors overrun like 4 inches.
I move my CHs towards the battle. I fly my TG over to his other two Shadow casters in a group of 9 Ungors.
I do some magic shit like Reroll to wounds. I was like... you know what'd kick ass? A Death Caster.
I scream and kill all but one of the Ungors and the two casters. They succeed on their panic. It sucks.
Vampire Lord sweeps the Ungors. I reform to face 20 or 25 Beastigors.
Beastigors charge. SURPRISE.
He forgets to move his Shadow casters. It's awesome.
Magic phase. He purple Suns some Ghouls and miscasts. It's not too bad and he has three dice left to my five. He goes to Spirit Leech my TG. He rolls like 16 or something. I'm like... Bro. I have five dice. You only rolled three. SORRY DOG. And I roll some crazy shit like 1,1,2,3,3. ....Oh, I guess you Spirit Leech that TG to death. ....AGAIN PLEASE SEE SENOR CHANG.
He kills every BK, but I melt like a ba-jillion Beastigors, so my Lord only crumbles one wound. He reforms to give me his flank, so he can take the front charge from the Crypt Horrors.
I cast Cuse of Years on his main block of core with all his dudes in it. I heal my VL. My VL and my CHs make paste out of his Beastigors. They don't even get to attack back.
His turn. He goes to Spirit Leech my VL. He miscasts. He rolls 2-2. He goes into the void and kills so many core that he panics. He flees.
My turn.
I declare a charge and he flees off the board.
....So, I probably should have lost this, but I'll take it.
So, huzzah! 2-1! Second place!
This Beastman player made me realize that Beastmen aren't an awful army as I originally thought. It was pretty cool to see. Two of the guys at the tournament were people I had never played with. The WoC guy and the Beastmen guy. It was awesome to get some games in with some new guys.
Over all, it was a good time. I hope you guys enjoyed reading my report. And if not, fuck you.
JK, I still love you. <3
This is your friendly neighborhood Narenzade with his February tournament battle report. This tournament was ran decently. There were some speed bumps along the way because of new organizers, but over all it was still a good time.
Also, my two friends that I usually roll out with were unable to come. They had to 'spend time with their families' and 'work'. I was like, pfft, tools. So, my other buddy who doesn't even play Warhammer anymore decided that he'd come along just to watch. So, I bought him lunch. Because I'm a good man.
Here's my list -
VL (Vampire)
Ogreblade, ToP, OTS
RF, QB, Beguile
HA, Shield, Barded Nightmare
Upgraded to LvL4 caster
Vampire (Death Lore)
Dispel Scroll 25, Luckstone 5, Charmed Shield 5
HA, Lance, Barded Nightmare
Upgraded to LvL 2 caster
40 Ghouls w/ Ghast
20 Zombies w/ Muso
20 Zombies w/ Standard
20 Zombies
8 Crypt Horrors
10 Black Knights w/ FC w/ Lances & Barding
Terrorgheist
Terrorgheist
Round One, I play WARRIORS OF CHAOS.
I was pretty excited about this match because I had a) never played against Warriors of Chaos and b) never played against the new Warriors of Chaos. So, we are playing Dawn Attack. I get sad because I know that means that some shit I want is going to end up in the completely wrong places.
SURE AS SHIT. CRYPT HORRORS WAYYY OFF TO THE RIGHT! TERRORGHEIST TWO WAYYYY OFF TO THE LEFT! SUPER - FUCKING- DUPER!
So, he's playing Lore of Tzneetch and has the floating guy on a disc. I'm aware of his gypsy-tricks and decide that I'm not going to fight that guy.
He plays some Chaos Warriors with a BSB Exalted Hero guy. Two Chims and two units of three and four Skullcrushers.
He takes turn one and prances his guys around a little bit. He's fairly intimidated by my double dragons and my palpable aura of manliness. He barely moves his things around and goes to magic. He tries to take my Death casters levels away or some shit, so I dispel that. Then he goes for the gamble and Gateways my Terrorgheist. He gets like 3 Str 4 hits. He doesn't do any wounds and my Gheist gets like 5+ regen. I hi five him and say, "THANKS BRO".
So, I fly my TG 10 inches towards my BK block in an attempt to get him back in the march bubble. In the mean time, I fly my TG up to be 19 inches away from his Skullcrushers because I'm testing to see if he has Mark of Khorne. He does. He fails his leadership and his charge. March up my CHs and wiggle my BKs around. I wiggle my core in the middle too. They will do nothing this game.
We go to magic and I try to Leech something. He stops it. I Vanhel's and wiggle my TG and my CHs a little.
We go to turn two. He smells my fear and moves both of his Chims around my lone TG. He moves the other unit of Skullcrushers up, and that's about it.
He does some more magic shit and all he casts is that steal a spell move. I Dispel that. Then he rolls like 26 on his Gateway on my BK unit. So I dispel scroll that.
My turn. I look at my TG and the two Chims and I know that I cannot out run him. So I exhale slowly. The room slows to a crawl. THERE GOES MY HERO. WATCH HIM AS HE GOES. *Guitar Riff* I turn my TG around and I can't fly him far enough to avoid the charge next turn... So he sits alone...facing two Chims hoping.... nay, praying to scream one off the board.
I fly my TG to the side of his Skullcrusher unit and measure to see if I'm in the arch. I'm not. I move my CH up and my BKs up as well. My core has a dance party in the center.
I don't do much in magic. In fact, I don't even remember what I did. Probably nothing.
TG screams at a Chimera. TEN WOUNDS. EAT SHIT. He fails like 6 or so Regen saves and goes down. My other TG screams and does markedly shittier, but still kills a Skullcrusher and might even wound another.
His turn. Chimera charges TG. SKULLCRUSHERS CHARGE other TG?! Yeah, I checked for one unit of Skull crushers and not the other. I'm a bad player. He gets in there.
He casts some more stupid crap. He tries to steal a spell. He rolls like forty on three dice. So I let it go off. My death caster loses a level and he takes Spirit Leech instead of Soul Blight. So I'm happy. Then he tries to Gateway Drug my BK unit and I dispel it.
Close combat. Both TGs eat a big shit sandwich. Sleep well, dear Princes. </3
My turn. I demand blood and revenge. I charge his Skullcrushers with my BK block and succeed. CHs continue to try and get into the fight, but Dawn Attack F'd me in the B. I move my Crypt Ghouls into his Chim.
Magic. I think I Vanhels or something. But, the big thing is I get Soulblight on the Skullcrushers behind the ones that I charged. For overrun. GET IT! BECAUSE I'M A GOOD PLAYER! Strategy and shit.
Shooting. NONE BECAUSE ALL MY GHEISTS ARE DEAD.
CC, I do like 2 wounds to the Chim, but he kills like 13+ Ghouls because of breath weapon and junk. Bad times.
Vampire Lord and BKs blend up all the Crushers but one. They flee and I pursue into his other unit of Skullcrushers as planned.
His turn, he moves his disc guy near my BKs and shit. He moves his Chaos Warriors towards my BKs.
He can't cast anything because my units are like all in CC. So he tries to bolt thrower my CHs. I make the first Regen save and that's that.
I Crush the other skull crushers. I wipe them completely and overrun into the lone Skullcrusher.
Chim takes another wound and kills like 8 more guys or something. I have like 5 Ghouls vs the Chim.
My turn, I move the CHs more. ...That's it.
Magic. I don't remember.
Close Wombat(Not a typo). I kill the lone Crusher and reform to face the Warriors block. All ghouls die with no wounds. Chim running around the board with one wound and I have no way to kill it.
He side charges the BKs with his Sorc Lord and front charges his BSB Exalted Hero into my BKs face. I Giggle because I'm going to kill them all.
He can't cast shit again. Oh wait, he debuffs my leadership or some bull.
So, we go to combat. His Sorc Lord challenges and my Champ accepts. He gets pooped on and dies. He gets like +1 Initiative or something for his Eyes of the Gods. My Vampire Lord gets four hits on the Hero. 2,1,1,1. I deal one wound. He fails his armor. 3+ ward he makes and then has to re-roll and fails. I exclaim that this is horse shit.
I lose and crumble a guy.
My turn, I charge into the side of the Exalted Hero with my CHs.
I don't do much else.
Close combat. His Exalted Hero challenges my Vampire Lord. Well, at least I'll get a second chance I think. Four hits again. Roll to wound 4,1,1,1. ....Are you fucking serious?
The Hero gets through a wound my Vampire Lord. 4+ armor fail and 4+ ward fail. Super. It's not like he'll deal me two wounds next round. I'll be fine.
No wounds the rest of the way from anyone, but I got the side charge and a rank, so I win by two. He succeeds on both LD tests and sticks.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXw6znXPfy4[/video]
His turn, he charges the Crypt Horror flank with the warriors. Whatever.
So, challenge time, four hits again. Roll to wound 4,3,1,1.... I fucking hate you.
At least, he should probably fail one of these. NOPE. SUCCEEDS ON BOTH 5+ Armor Saves.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXw6znXPfy4[/video]
Whatever. It's not like my Vampire Lord will die. Two hits on my VL from the Hero. Two Wounds with a 5+.
Roll my two 4+ armor saves. Fail.
Roll my two 4+ ward saves. Fail.
My Vampire Lord dies. OH AND DONT FORGET THAT THIS MOTHER FUCKER WAS BEGUILED THE WHOLE TIME.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVneqqeyO2M[/video]
Needless to say, the game was over there.
MVP: Nothing.
LVP: My rolls.
To say that I couldn't roll my way out of a paper bag would be a vast under statement. I literally couldn't roll if I owned a bakery. My bakery would be out of business because they'd be like... bro, you got some rolls? I'd be like... NOPE!
I lose.
Round Two - The Empire
We set up all Blood and Glory, except Special Rule, you have to start with your General and at least one core unit in play. And then 600 points of Reserves. So, I put my CH and my Ghouls into Reserve.
I deploy a whole bunch of shit in the middle. He places his Helstorm and Morter like as close as he can to his line and right infront of both my TGs. He's got like... other stuff, but... you know, they are just men.
The time comes and we roll to see who goes first and I do. It's going to be amazing. I fly my TGs up and place with both in front of his war machines. I move my other stuff up. Magic, I Vanhels my TGs around a little bit more and move my BKs up further.
I scream down both War Machines like a boss. I'm all FUS RO DAH!
We laugh. He doesn't laugh as hard as I do. I keep laughing and it gets kind of awkward. So, I give him a slice of pizza. By the way, battle report aside. There's a place around here called Original Italian Pizza or OIP if you're in the know. Holy shit, best wing sauce I've ever had in my life. It's like spicy and garlic-y. My God, I have wood just thinking about it. Holy shit. I'd slap a baby, drag my balls one hundred miles of glass and nails and punch my mother in the nose just to smell this sauce.
Anyway, that's it. He charges one of my TGs with some normal dudes. He brings his steam tank and some great swords in front of my TGs.
He tries to cast some shit, but I put an end to that. He's got Miasma and Pendulum.
My TG kills a couple, but because it was a side charge he sticks around with some guys. It was kind of sad.
I move my BKs into position to counter charge after my TG bites the dust. His Steam tank malfunctions and sits there.
So, my other TG screams at his Steamtank and does like 4 wounds. My opponent bows before me for I am truly dragon born.
I kill the rest of the guys with my other TG scream, but like now I'm stuck.
So he charges my TG with some great swords and a priest. He tries to cast other spells but my level 4 superiority says nay.
He shit rolls my TG, but he just crumbles away so no over run. I charge with my BKs into his Greatswords because I am arrogant. He counter charges and then my TG declares a charge on his counter charge. So, it's a big combat gang bang.
I cast some shit that doesn't matter.
I punch like 20 swordsmen to death. But, everyone is stubbon, so they all stick.
His turn. He shoots more zombies and I'm all like... *Jack off motion*.
We close Wombat and I shit roll more Swordsmen and so does my TG. My TG is out of combat now and I think there's like 4 great swords left. I have like 3 or 4 BKs left.
My turn. My TG charges his Steamtank because fuck the police. Mostly because I don't want that thing to touch my BKs.
Magic, I cast an Invocation and get 5 more Bks back. My opponent isn't pleased.
VL wipes out of the rest, except the Priest is still there. He fails LD. He runs off the board and I reform. I face my opponenets Spearmen and General guy. TG / Steam tank stare at eachother.
He prepares his anus for the BK charge.
He tries to cast. Note: tries.
He shoots zombies.
Steam tank / TG stare at eachother.
I charge my BKs and succeed.
I cast some shit. You know, Vanhels, Hellish. Whatevz.
TG screams. 1,1. No wounds. (See Above for Senor Chang.)
Vampire Lord blends 9 guys away. I kill like 20 dudes total. He kills one BK. He's stubborn because he had like holy shit 40 or 50 spearmen. He sticks.
His turn. ...
...
Close combat, I kill like 14ish guys or more. Basically, he's still stubborn. He sticks.
TG / Tank dance.
My turn. I think my Crypt Ghouls charge something... like a detachment of gunners. I shit on them.
I break his big unit of spearmen and pursue. They get the D.
My opponent gives up at this point.
MVP: Vampire Lord.
LVP: ... ...Um... Probably my CH / CGs having to try and march across the board. It was silly.
ROUND THREE: BEASTMEN
I will start out by saying that prior to this game I thought Beastmen were a joke. ...I still do a little bit, but basically, I feel like Beastmen don't play well because they're Beastmen. They play well because they have Heardstone / 3 or 4 casters / Level 4 Death caster. Really, I was just playing against Death.
So, this guy is pretty fucking cool to play with. He's a good guy. We laugh and joke the whole time. I even got his number. No homo. Like just to text good night and shit. Nothing gay. ... I swear.
If I win this game then I come in Second. Should I lose... there will be no placement.
So ,we play Pitched Battle and set up really isn't that important. We all know how I fielded. But, like he fielded a lot of chaff. Like 5 Ungors and shit all over the place. I go first.
I fly both TGs up, march my BKs and march my CHs.
I don't recall what I cast. It didn't matter.
So, I scream at a unit of 5 Ungors with a level 1 Shadow caster in it. I blow it the fuck off the table. Like 4 units of 5 Ungors and 6 Harpies panic all over the place. It's hilarious. My other TG screams a Razorgor to death and then the other one next to him panics off the board. Basically, i made a shit show of his chaff. It was awesome.
So, I'm feeling good.
He declares like 3 charges on my TG and makes them all. It's pretty lame. One of them was like 6+ with 5 Ungors and then another one was 6+ with some Harpies. And I would have been fine with those. But, he needed like 9+ on his Beastigors and he makes it. I'm like...
FUCKKKKKKKK. So, again I lose my TG early because I'm bad. Sad face. Crying face.
Magic. He goes to Spirit Leech my Death caster. I'm like... bro. LD 10 vs LD 9? Yeah, there's no way I could fuck this up... and I have charmed shield on that bitch. SHE GONNA BE LIKE A ROCK. I roll a 1. He rolls a 4. I fucking hate my life. THEN I'M INFORMED THAT I CAN'T USE CHARMED SHIELD BECAUSE IT'S NOT A HIT. I'm like... fuck. I really can't argue because of this wording. So, I lose her and my scroll. I dispel his double Miasma with one die a piece. Yeah, he got like 5 then 6 and I'm like... Fuck it. Roll one die 3, DISPELLED. Roll another single die 4 DISPELLED. GET THAT WEAK SHIT OUT OF HERE. I'M LIKE MOTHER FUCKING MUTUMBO.
I think he Purple Suns some ghouls. I don't remember if that's now or later.
TG melts. Obviously. He overruns his Ungors into my BK flank. Harpies reform and Beastigors overrun like 4 inches.
I move my CHs towards the battle. I fly my TG over to his other two Shadow casters in a group of 9 Ungors.
I do some magic shit like Reroll to wounds. I was like... you know what'd kick ass? A Death Caster.
I scream and kill all but one of the Ungors and the two casters. They succeed on their panic. It sucks.
Vampire Lord sweeps the Ungors. I reform to face 20 or 25 Beastigors.
Beastigors charge. SURPRISE.
He forgets to move his Shadow casters. It's awesome.
Magic phase. He purple Suns some Ghouls and miscasts. It's not too bad and he has three dice left to my five. He goes to Spirit Leech my TG. He rolls like 16 or something. I'm like... Bro. I have five dice. You only rolled three. SORRY DOG. And I roll some crazy shit like 1,1,2,3,3. ....Oh, I guess you Spirit Leech that TG to death. ....AGAIN PLEASE SEE SENOR CHANG.
He kills every BK, but I melt like a ba-jillion Beastigors, so my Lord only crumbles one wound. He reforms to give me his flank, so he can take the front charge from the Crypt Horrors.
I cast Cuse of Years on his main block of core with all his dudes in it. I heal my VL. My VL and my CHs make paste out of his Beastigors. They don't even get to attack back.
His turn. He goes to Spirit Leech my VL. He miscasts. He rolls 2-2. He goes into the void and kills so many core that he panics. He flees.
My turn.
I declare a charge and he flees off the board.
....So, I probably should have lost this, but I'll take it.
So, huzzah! 2-1! Second place!
This Beastman player made me realize that Beastmen aren't an awful army as I originally thought. It was pretty cool to see. Two of the guys at the tournament were people I had never played with. The WoC guy and the Beastmen guy. It was awesome to get some games in with some new guys.
Over all, it was a good time. I hope you guys enjoyed reading my report. And if not, fuck you.
JK, I still love you. <3
