Why can people be so cruel?

[Rising Necromancer]

So tonight i went to see a comedy thing with my family. We sat right next to the stage where everyone else could see us. Five out of the ten comedians that night made fun of me for being young (15) and fat. I can't control the first one and I'm working the second. Besides I'm not massive or anything... I just want to know if anyone can explain why people like to have fun at my expense? This kind of thing happens to me all the time and I'm so tired of it. When I got home I just broke down and wanted everyone who had been making fun of me to just be in as much pain as I was. I'm not trying to be a drama queen and I'm sorry if it seems that way but I honestly just needed to rant about this.

Edit: Thank you everyone

 

[whtdwrf11]

Honestly don't worry about what people who don't know you have to say about you just let it roll right off and laugh at it no matter how hard it might seem to do so at the time because if you let it get to you then your going to start believing what those people are saying and that is never good for anyone emotionally.

People can be more cruel then any other thing on this entire planet it's very true but there's also plenty of other people on this planet who are nothing like the others you just have to weather the cruelty even if there is no reason for it and take what joy you can from the people who are there to help and support you.

Hell I'm 24 and defiantly have a bit of a weight issue for my height but I just ignore anything people would say about it it's none of their business how I live my life and for all they know I could have problems that don't let me lose weight easily but they wouldn't know that because they just saw someone overweight and drew their own conclusions.

 

[Danceman]

Because some people suck and derive an arbitrary sense of superiority for being something you're not. Fuck 'em, all they do is projecting their own pathetic and insecure selves upon you. I know the words still hurts, but fuck 'em.

 

[Anilar]

Its there act, whoever is close and in the open lets make fun of them.
Had you been tall and muscular, they would have made fun of you.
Had you been skinny, nerdy and with glasses, fun. Black with big lips fun fun fun. Just different jokes.

And yes its not fun, expecially when you had went out to have fun.
And rant away, its never a good thing to bottle up those feelings.

Im kinda wondering how those comedians would react, if the one they were making fun off, became very angry or very sad right in front of them.

If they have an email/facebook/twitter thing, maybe write them and tell them how they made you feel. That you went out to have fun with your family, and you didn't get what you paid for.
You might not get a response or an apology, but maybe they would pay a little more attention to there target next time they are on stage.

And take comfort that there are friends, family and artists that see beyond the outer shell, and know you as the person you are.

 

[Sanai]

Why can people be so cruel?

Because it is a cruel and harsh world full of people who will seize upon any perceived flaw and hammer in their ridicule until you are nothing but a broken wreck of a person.... if you let them.

 

[Abbysal]

Have you seen the nutty proffessor? It happens, it's not nice and uncalled for but that's what these people do. It really just goes to show that the comedian was shit if he had to pick on you to fill his spot, he can't have had much material! I have never been to a comedy club and probably wouldn't ever go as I embarres easily and "comedians" can smell the fear I think. Go back after hours and do them as they come out of the building, and when I say do them I mean kick'em in the nuts.:zombie:

 

[Grish]

Anyone that's been to most comedian open nights, this is what happens. Comedians don't want you to be hurt, they want to make a living. If you go to to these things, expect it, especially if you stand out in a way. Otherwise, don't go. Just keep in mind, this is what pays the comedians bills. You aren't the first, or the last. And comedians have seen all kinds of reactions; its part of the gig.

And yes, people are cruel. Follow what's been going on in Libya, Syria, and in the last decade Sudan. Someone poking fun of you about your weight isn't a big deal in comparison, but it can still be a big deal to you.

No one can hurt you with words without your permission. If you are hurt about being teased about it, it means you care about being overweight, or you care about their opinion of you. Either way, you care. If that's the case, either stop caring, or start doing exercise.

 

[Count Darvaleth]

When people don't get to know you, or at least try to understand the position you're in, they make stupid judgements. I like to think I'm somebody who can actually see the other side of the coin, perhaps due to prolonged exposure to one side and always wondering "why can't they see that this person might...etc." . Honestly, if you play warhammer or collect it (which I'd confident in saying most people on CN do) then you have more imagination, more intelligence, and more darned character than most comedians.

They're just the modern court-jesters. Us warhammer players are something new.

EDIT: I changed your user title for you, (saving you however many zombies it is) to The Awesome Necromancer, because I felt it would cheer you up. [Tell me if you want it changed back!]

 

[Grish]

It's a COMEDY CLUB.

They don't get to know you, they're not warm and fuzzy, they tease the audience. That's what happens there. That's like going to a Warhammer club and not expecting to play with some poor sport.

It's not a stupid judgement if it gets a laugh. If you were a standup comedy, and these shows put food on the table for your family, are you going to think "What will draw people into my show?" or "I really hope I don't hurt someone's feelings. I better not tease anyone."

No; some people come to the club to see what happens. If you sit near the front you WILL be teased. Shows here that do that kind of comedy, people are actually screened and people that "stand out" are put on the front rows. My brother in law, who is 6'9, was put in the front row just so he'd be teased.

It happens. If you don't want to be teased about your weight, don't go to a comedy club and sit at the front.

 

[Count Darvaleth]

Whilst the above may be true, I don't feel it is entirely appropriate when somebody has clearly been hurt by what has been said to them. Heck, people steal money on the street to put food on their table. Are you saying that's ok?

It may be what they have to do to survive, but that doesn't mean it's totally acceptable. I know it's a poor analogy. I know it's ridiculous to compare the two. But I do feel that the last thing somebody who has obviously been dealt some rather spiteful emotional damage is a post telling them it's their fault. After all, we're all friends here on CN, aren't we?

 

[Rising Necromancer]

Oh grish im fine with a few jokes about me... I love jokes but over and over and over The three hours i was there felt like a fuckin gang bang on me. And thank you everyone... Especially Darvy for spending so much time on here to make me feel better.

 

[Count Darvaleth]

Don't mention it. A good while ago things were getting too much for me, I vented my frustration onto CN, and the wonder that is our forum picked me back up again. I felt I should return the favour.

 

[Grish]

Yeah Darvy, having the example of stealing, which is against the law and deprives you of property, and teasing at a comedy club, which is expected and obviously not a crime, are two entirely different things. Being a jerk is not against the law. And some people that go to comedy clubs want to see a jerk on there. Same reason people watch reality TV and Jerry Springer, to see people fighting and crying.

I would have all the sympathy in the world if they teased you on the street. In a comedy club, that's what happens though. To me, it's like going on Jerry Springer and then being hurt and surprised when they revealed some sort of allegation or embarrassing/hurtful moment on your life. I wouldn't go on Jerry Springer, and I wouldn't sit front row in a comedy club.

That said, that sucks that they picked heavily on you; and if you didn't know what you were getting yourself into, I have sympathy for you as well. It sucks that people's humour is generally at someone else's expense. Change what people find funny, and you shall know peace.

 

[Librarian]

I think it is pretty cheap if they are making fun of a minor, picking on a teenager who is probably already insecure enough is just not cool.
I think picking on a person that is a real easy target is what pisses me off about those guys.

Those guys are jerks and probably never will hit it big, so don't worry too much about it. I know it sucksbeing picked on, but things will change once school is over.
Those people picked on you because they needed a cheap laugh and were not good enough to be really funny.

Also Darv:

Honestly, if you play warhammer or collect it (which I'd confident in saying most people on CN do) then you have more imagination, more intelligence, and more darned character than most comedians.

Don't get me wrong, I love collecting and painting minis as much as the next guy or girl on here, but this has to be one of THE nerdiest hobby ever and from my experience it is not neccessarily a sign of intelligence or imagination, let alone character.

They're just the modern court-jesters. Us warhammer players are something new.

HOORAY! The next step of evolution is here! And it is....collecting little plastic mans... and painting them and shoving them round a table...

 

[Disciple of Nagash]

I am really sorry to hear what happened to you.

Firstly to comment on what Grish said, he does have a point, in that going to that type of venue and sitting at the front is basically saying to the comedian "easy target". They may have even thought you knew what you was getting yourself into, and did not realise it was hurting you. If I was to go to one of those clubs, I know not to sit next to the stage.

That said, it sounds like you didn't know or expect this and certainly in that case it was probably a horrible experience. It is a sad fact that many people have a laugh at others expenses, I know at my work we take the piss out of each other all the time, though we do in a way we all know is a joke. It doesn't work if one person feels victimised, which is obviously what happened here.

I hope you do feel better now, and also remember that the comedians probably were not actually wanting to hurt you, they may even have not listened to the act before them and so not realised you had had been insulted previously.

Best thing to do is to mark it up to experience, if you are unhappy in yourself in anyway try and figure out how to fix it (sadly I am of the tubby gang at the moment and so I am sweating buckets down at the gym), and go and have some fun!