Worst thing you've done out of Love

[HereticLosMorte]

i also enjoy the fact of an open community here, where we can talk freely with each other and not have the whole *omg liek ur totley stupid!lawl!* kinda bs that's on most other forums.

losing what you love really sucks bad, but that's what makes it more precious and special, the fact that you have/had it.
it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. - dunno who's quote >.>

i personally am not religious in any form, but i do find it upsetting that most people that are homosexual are so looked down upon by their religious peers just for being gay. it's not like they just woke up one morning and said "hey, i think i'll be gay". yet, religion makes it out to be a sin, a mutation, curse, etc.

i think that has a HUGE part to play in why societies don't openly accept gays still. i do think it's nice though that some of the media now, some shows, movies, etc.. are more pro-gay and encouraging people to be themselves.

one of my gaming buddies for instance, hasn't had a gf since i've known him, is very... motherly i guess... attitude wise to us all. everyone who meets him, immediately asks one of us others in the group if he's gay, in which we say no, because that is what he's stated. my gf thinks he is and is just afraid of coming out. i personally hope he isn't afraid to come out because of what we'll say, i know his family is very open and encouraging in general. if he is gay, i would want him to be who he is, i'm not gonna suddenly stop being his friend over it.

i think most guys would run, thinking oh he's gay, he's gonna come onto me.
a) as a hetero guy still, lots of guys are dog ugly. sure there are good looking guys, and i will even say so.
b) just because he's gay doesn't mean he's gonna come running after you, you probably aren't his type, and even then, he knows from hanging out with you that you probably aren't gay, especially if you have a gf/wife.

i've grown up around homosexuals all my life (mother is a flight attendent, dad is a pilot) so i think i'm more understanding and can actually be around them without freaking out like a retard.


i know i rambled, sorry

 

[The Brotherhood of Necros]

Dunno if I break the trend or what, but despite being pretty much gay, the majority of my mates are straight guys, living in a flat with three other lads, and I don't actually know that many gay guys. My mates are absolutely fine with it and don't treat me any different, and I've never had any stick for it.

So from my perspective your dead on HereticLosMorte, just because someone is gay doesn't mean they're going to jump on every guy they meet. I wouldn't eventhink of my mates in that way, they're just mates.

Pretty sure I'm ramblin on so I'll stop here...

TPL

 

[HereticLosMorte]

exactly TPL
seems that with straight guys, most (not including myself) seem to get paranoid about it. i don't know why. if a guy comes up and hits on you, you simply tell them thanks for the compliment but.. (not gay, have a gf, married). it's the same deal as if a girl walked up to them and they weren't interested.

as far as i know, most gay guys won't come up and hit on you unless you give them a reason to... if you're with your gf, they might check you out, but i've had very few encounters other than someone maybe saying a compliment on my looks where they'll come up and try to hook up.

 

[Master Vampire]

I've even heard about gays being beat up in Poland. Now, the Minister of Internal Affairs said (literally): "Of course we don't accept this. Then again, we're doing our best to solve this 'disease'".

That was the weirdest comment I ever heard. It ain't a disease. And that from a minister...

And don't start about religion and society.... catholic belief shaped the western world, and islam shapes the islamic world... and so does every religion. There's nothing bad about that.... until you appoint people say they speak words from god.

 

[HereticLosMorte]

exactly, it's all of the people claiming they are "doing god's work" or preaching the "words of god". it's these idiots that cause homophobia to be such a big thing. their singular view doesn't mean every view has to be that way, yet they preach that it does. let people view religion in their own way.

now, that poland thing.... that's disturbing. i don't understand why most people still think of homosexuality as being a "disease".

i just thought of it too (anyone from canada will understand). it's damned cold here today, freezing my giggleberries off, so on my way home from work, i'm gonna stop off at tim hortons and get a hot chocolate and a hot apple cider for the gf (she LOVES this stuff). it's not a bad thing i'm doing for love though

 

[Grish]

No double double? Blasphemy! And it's 'Timmies' around here.

 

[Master Vampire]

it's these idiots that cause homophobia to be such a big thing. their singular view doesn't mean every view has to be that way, yet they preach that it does. let people view religion in their own way.

Not only that... they're the cause of much, much more... but that's getting irrelevant to the issue.

I might be doing some stupid things for love near the future.

 

[HereticLosMorte]

yeah, but i didn't want people from other countries going "uhh... who's this timmie guy and why're you going there?"

no, i don't drink coffee, so i never go to timmie's really... though i do love their strawberry donut they have out right now (the flower shaped one , hey it's damned good!)

 

[Raziel]

Please tell me hot cider tastes good HLM(I really wana put some Bulmers in a microwave for some obscure reason lol, maybe to keep me warm walking to school =P(On mainland europe Bulmers is called Magners Btw. dunno why....))

 

[HereticLosMorte]

i'm not a huge fan of the apple cider (or any at all), not my "cup of tea", no pun intended. (i don't like coffee or tea either )

my gf craaaaves hot apple cider though, and when she got home, she was all "awwww, i love you so much!!!" so it's all the better

 

[Danceman]

one of my gaming buddies for instance, hasn't had a gf since i've known him, is very... motherly i guess... attitude wise to us all. everyone who meets him, immediately asks one of us others in the group if he's gay, in which we say no, because that is what he's stated. my gf thinks he is and is just afraid of coming out. i personally hope he isn't afraid to come out because of what we'll say, i know his family is very open and encouraging in general. if he is gay, i would want him to be who he is, i'm not gonna suddenly stop being his friend over it.

If this would be any indication of anything like that I think warhammer/MMOs geeks truly are a hidden gay community. I personally havent had many girlfriends at all but that isnt cause I couldnt get one, I'm just rather fond of the idea of actually liking the girl I would call my girlfriend. Alas, I havent found a girl in many years(emotionally that is... ).. hm it's actually almost 6 years now.

That said, relationships arent for all. Definately not for me at this point in my life.

Speaking of relationships. Ever had that friend who hooks up with a girl and suddenly turns into some lovemaster? Tries to "fix you girls" and such.

 

[Ghouly]

I got a freind like that he thinks hes the ultimute Ladies man. funny thing is he has never ever had a girl freind and as for gays I don't care what your into everybody has thier own turn-ons.

 

[Geraint]

Given the direction of this thread, can I ask for some advice (we're getting further and further from the original topic here...)? I run, with some friends, quite a popular gaming club (25-30 gamers every Thursday), at which, sadly, the words "gay" and "bent" are sometimes used in a perjorative sense about army lists and styles of gaming - in the sense in which a lot of people on this forum use "cheese". I really don't like it: it's unpleasant and homophobic. Sadly, I introduced one of my best friends to Warhammer, but, being gay, she doesn't want to come to the club. I'm not sure what to do. As chairman and under the club rules I could make a real fuss about it, but I would run the risk of losing a lot of gamers and thus perhaps the club.
The only defence I can offer for the use of this idiotic phrase is that in Britain it's commonly used by teenagers to the point at which I'm not sure that they really think about what they're saying. It's used by plenty of people who are, I know, not homophobic in the slightest, which might suggest that the word "gay" has once again evolved.
Sorry. I'm rambling. But I would appreciate your advice.

 

[HereticLosMorte]

Given the direction of this thread, can I ask for some advice (we're getting further and further from the original topic here...)? I run, with some friends, quite a popular gaming club (25-30 gamers every Thursday), at which, sadly, the words "gay" and "bent" are sometimes used in a perjorative sense about army lists and styles of gaming - in the sense in which a lot of people on this forum use "cheese". I really don't like it: it's unpleasant and homophobic. Sadly, I introduced one of my best friends to Warhammer, but, being gay, she doesn't want to come to the club. I'm not sure what to do. As chairman and under the club rules I could make a real fuss about it, but I would run the risk of losing a lot of gamers and thus perhaps the club.
The only defence I can offer for the use of this idiotic phrase is that in Britain it's commonly used by teenagers to the point at which I'm not sure that they really think about what they're saying. It's used by plenty of people who are, I know, not homophobic in the slightest, which might suggest that the word "gay" has once again evolved.
Sorry. I'm rambling. But I would appreciate your advice.

no no, not rambling, that's a good add-in.
my gaming group does the same thing. i don't admonish them for it, but if it ever became offensive to one of us, or a newcomer, we would certainly stop... and yes, i have unfortunately said this before, i won't lie. i've toned it down alot, because of my gf being gay (bisexual is still gay as far as we're both concerned). she didn't like my use of it.... funnily enough, she uses anti-gay wording like that more than i do lol

now, as for your situation. just inform your group that it's offensive, to tone it down, because it's offending others. if they genuinely like their gaming group, they will become aware and tone it down, if not, they can leave.

 

[Raziel]

If they're teenagers I really doubt they mean it in a Homophobic way, it's just taken on another meaning in teenage society to mean something bad.

 

[HereticLosMorte]

one of my gaming buddies for instance, hasn't had a gf since i've known him, is very... motherly i guess... attitude wise to us all. everyone who meets him, immediately asks one of us others in the group if he's gay, in which we say no, because that is what he's stated. my gf thinks he is and is just afraid of coming out. i personally hope he isn't afraid to come out because of what we'll say, i know his family is very open and encouraging in general. if he is gay, i would want him to be who he is, i'm not gonna suddenly stop being his friend over it.

If this would be any indication of anything like that I think warhammer/MMOs geeks truly are a hidden gay community. I personally havent had many girlfriends at all but that isnt cause I couldnt get one, I'm just rather fond of the idea of actually liking the girl I would call my girlfriend. Alas, I havent found a girl in many years(emotionally that is... ).. hm it's actually almost 6 years now.

That said, relationships arent for all. Definately not for me at this point in my life.

Speaking of relationships. Ever had that friend who hooks up with a girl and suddenly turns into some lovemaster? Tries to "fix you girls" and such.

it's not that he hasn't had a gf around us being the main reason.
he's single, 39 yrs old. very doting, motherly, looks out for your well-being, watches over your shoulder kinda thing. the way he moves, talks, reacts, all of that, classic sterotypical gay.

if he isn't, well, that's just fine.
if he is, i'd rather him come out to us and be free than have to bottle it up and live a lie around us. it's not gonna change the way i look at him or hang out with him.

i just feel bad for him if this is the case.

 

[HereticLosMorte]

If they're teenagers I really doubt they mean it in a Homophobic way, it's just taken on another meaning in teenage society to mean something bad.

then again, that in itself is a bad habit, using the term "gay" to mean something "bad".

 

[Master Vampire]

Given the direction of this thread, can I ask for some advice (we're getting further and further from the original topic here...)? I run, with some friends, quite a popular gaming club (25-30 gamers every Thursday), at which, sadly, the words "gay" and "bent" are sometimes used in a perjorative sense about army lists and styles of gaming - in the sense in which a lot of people on this forum use "cheese". I really don't like it: it's unpleasant and homophobic. Sadly, I introduced one of my best friends to Warhammer, but, being gay, she doesn't want to come to the club. I'm not sure what to do. As chairman and under the club rules I could make a real fuss about it, but I would run the risk of losing a lot of gamers and thus perhaps the club.
The only defence I can offer for the use of this idiotic phrase is that in Britain it's commonly used by teenagers to the point at which I'm not sure that they really think about what they're saying. It's used by plenty of people who are, I know, not homophobic in the slightest, which might suggest that the word "gay" has once again evolved.
Sorry. I'm rambling. But I would appreciate your advice.

You speak of the term 'gay' as in people saying the word 'fuck' when something goes wrong. That's what you're writing. In this world it is so common, I never believe anyone who claims to never have sworn before. Not even priests, policemen etcetera: who ever looks like someone clever or like someone who's too friendly to do such a thing, they all do. Like all types of behaviour, it's hard to stop doing such a 'normal' thing. You can, however, change what you say.

As chairman of the club you have to take action. You have to stick up for the people who feel/are treated wrong. You will actually lose members if they ever know about the fact you let people say 'gay' and someone doesn't feel at home because of that (for he/she is gay). You will look weak and pathetic, and you may even be thrown out of position (I don't know if being chairman is important to you).

While if you speak up, tell the people that person X is feeling hurt because of the swearing, point out that they have to stop it and either use: 1) a different word or 2) get the **** out, because you don't tolerate that kind of racism/language.

This shows leadership... that you are fit for the position and that in no way bow down to what the majority does.

In my opinion, it's a win-win scenario.

 

[Grish]

I have a number of gay friends and I use the term gay in this way. In front of them; it doesn't bother them. It is not derogatory when we use it; we are very supportive of each other, but we don't have paper thin hides. They'll call me Jewface or Jewberry or some such. We burn each other and insult each other all the time; out of friendship (example, this week was in the store getting some orc boys. My friend said, because I already had no room in mine: "Looks like you'll need a bigger box." To which I replied, "Well I guess I should call up your mom." Apparently, this is offensive... give me a break). In the store, our dialogue seems to offend many people, but really I don't care. Toughen up man! What, are we all going to stop swearing to protect the virgin ears of people? Or, here's a better idea, how about you take charge of yourself and not be offended? Sounds strange, but its really not. Its teasing. My stance is, if people get offended by every little thing, f*** them. I'm not here to baby sit the world. Its this reasoning that there's safety warnings not to tie rubber bands on plastic bags and wear it on your face, or non-swearing professional policies get introduced to companies (which I ignore, and I recommend employees to be themselves within reason; obviously you cannot insult someone that doesn't want to be in the workplace, but the alternative is a please and thanks environment that is so fake and stifling that I'd push to institute a swearing policy).

People are too soft these days. Someone can not insult you without your permission. The world isn't a cuddly place that everything needs more and more safety implemented, and more PC language. Such as retarded. Not PC anymore; it's autistic. Granted, they have different meanings, but if someone is retarded, we all know what that means. If they are, then they are, and why get offended over it?

If someone calls you gay, and you are gay, why be offended? If I hear someone say 'that's gay' I take it to mean stupid; I don't attach anything negative to gay people. If I hear someone say they get gypped or jewed, I know it means ripped off, and don't attach anything negative to gypsies or jewish people. They're not racists or anti-Semite because they say these things.

What I say, is everyone toughen up. Stop being such pansies. Refuse to get insulted. Don't let others play with your emotions or push your buttons. Be in control, not the one controlled, and don't hide behind regulations or remove yourself from situations.

Obviously not a popular stance but its one I believe in, coming from a background where I was heavily discriminated against.

 

[Danceman]

This shows leadership... that you are fit for the position and that in no way bow down to what the majority does.

In my opinion, it's a win-win scenario.

I dont know about that. Might just undermine him completely.

Seriously though, I'm with Grish here. Grow a pair and realise the world aint out to get you... and even if it is, laugh at it back. I mean you cant let every little ignorant person get to you. See the context of what they're saying. Like the name of this site, CARPE-effing-NOCTEM

 

[Grish]

The next thing you know, a Cheesemaker would want to come to the store, but due to the unflattering nature of the way 'cheese' is used and his profession, he would become insulted and refuse to play until cheese is not used in a negative way.

What I say to your gay friend; go in and when things are stupid, say "that's straight". Same damn thing. See if all the straight people get offended and leave.

 

[HereticLosMorte]

The next thing you know, a Cheesemaker would want to come to the store, but due to the unflattering nature of the way 'cheese' is used and his profession, he would become insulted and refuse to play until cheese is not used in a negative way.

What I say to your gay friend; go in and when things are stupid, say "that's straight". Same damn thing. See if all the straight people get offended and leave.

haha, i think this is genious. he or she should try that.

 

[Geraint]

Thanks for all the thoughts - at the very least you're all demonstrating that this is hardly an easy issue to deal with. I shall go away and ponder.
In many ways it would be a lot easier if I had a complaint to deal with. If someone was offended then it would be a lot easier to make a case that "gay" was being used offensively. As it is, it might be said that all I'm doing is inventing offense. Sure, my friend didn't want to come - but she was also tired and didn't have an army on her, so there may have been other reasons for her reticence.
I think most people at the club who use "gay" - and it is a minority - wouldn't have a clue why I was asking them not to use the word. Is this an excuse?

 

[Raziel]

If they're teenagers I really doubt they mean it in a Homophobic way, it's just taken on another meaning in teenage society to mean something bad.

then again, that in itself is a bad habit, using the term "gay" to mean something "bad".

Never said it wasn't, that's just how it gets used. I know gay people who use it in that way even, it's justone of those words everyone uses

 

[The Brotherhood of Necros]

My friends say gay around me all the time, and it doesn't bother me. I'm with Grish and co. on this one, when used in that context its really not offensive. I think the only time it can be offensive, and when you would as chairman be required to take action, would be if it was used as a personal insult, which from the sounds of it, is far from the current case at your store.

TPL