The return of the corrupted wish!

[Disciple of Nagash]

Granted but the mass amounts of upgrades creates an artificial intelligence that decides you are now obsolete and decides to recycle you into pig feed.

I wish this pressure headache would go away.

 

[spineyrequiem]

Granted! As soon as the chap with the drill, enthusiastic look and no medical qualifications whatsoever gets there to relieve it for you.

I wish music producers could be convinced to introduce some dynamic contrast into songs...

 

[Alabaster427]

Granted, but you end up with songs that have no beat, rhythm, or continuity.

I wish I didn't have to wait until April for the season 5 of Game of Thrones.

 

[spineyrequiem]

Granted! Everyone dies in the first episode and the rest of the series is spent focussing on Itri, a hard-talking, straight-laced soldier in the Baratheon army and Davydd, his lazy partner who just can't seem to do anything right! An entirely new take on the buddy cop genre, exclusively on HBO!

I wish a magic fairy would come along and finish my job applications for me...

 

[najo]

Granted, but the only jobs you can get require a minimum of 40 pieces of flair and the glittering fairy dust.... you just can't seem to ever get rid of it, you keep finding bits of glitter everywhere!

I wish to know what Neil deGrasse Tyson and Stephan Hawking are thinking about right now!

 

[Count Vashra]

Granted! They are thinking such advanced scientific thoughts (like, what if I stand on a quantum mechanics level black hole?) that you have headaches for weeks on end. And you have to watch through Cosmos: A Spacticetime journey again and again.

I wish for a Warhammer-based film.

 

[Sanai]

Granted, it is produced by Codex Studios, the artistic luminaries who created the masterpiece that was the Space Marine movie. (Yes, there was sarcasm in that sentence)

I wish for an unlimited supply of vodka.

 

[Alabaster427]

Granted, but the supplier took it as a literal translation so you only get an unlimited supply of "little water"

I wish that everyone participates in the voting for Golden Bat.

 

[robtion]

Granted, however there is some translation confusion with your wish and subsequently everybody named Juan votes in the golden bat.

I wish Iife was easier.

 

[Undying Scourge]

Granted, but life is so easy and you accomplish everything so effortlessly that you become incredibly, intolerably bored and fed up and end up becoming so bored that you start torturing and murdering people and animals to pass the time, but which is also too easy and thus incredibly boring, and end up dying in a violent standoff with the police, which is also incredibly boring!

I wish I got more recognition for my work.

 

[Disciple of Nagash]

Casts Invocation of Ne-thread I always enjoyed these threads!

I wish I got more recognition for my work.

Granted. You become recognised, stopped in the streets by people awed with your work. But for some the recognition turns into compulsion and one morning you wake up groggily from what was a drugged state. You're strapped to a wall, surrounded by the artefacts of your work in a newly dedicated museum to you. Day after day thousands come to visit as you are kept alive via feeding tube, unable to move. Your screams and cries only excite your followers more and as the years pass by a new religion springs up around your slowly withering frame as you beg for the sweet release of death.

I wish losing weight was easier

 

[kondor44]

Granted, it could be also fun, if you use such kettlebells

I wish knee rehab was faster and more efficent.

 

[Disciple of Nagash]

Granted. A new practitioner comes around with the blurring of their hands your knee joint is as good as new on the inside as it ever was! Unfortunately the speed of their hands caused such drastic frictions and burns that your skin is burnt off and the inside of your knee is also now the outside of your knee!

I wish we could all the members of Carpe Noctem back, making as busy as it was in its heyday!